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  • Writer's pictureOksana Lemeza

Curse of the Woman

A Godly and healthy marriage takes two willing people to make it work. We can talk a lot about how husbands should treat their wives, but today lets focus on the ladies!

Proverbs 12:4 states; “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones”.

That verse alone should be enough for us to strive for excellence!

A crown adorns the head with majesty, honor, and brilliance… which is the same way a wife needs to adorn her husband, since he is the head of the family. An excellent wife is one who will honor her husband, and represent him well! Your husband is your king… be his crown that he wears proudly!

So where does the “curse” come in?

Lets go back to the very beginning. After that first sinful deed was done, God cursed the serpent, and He had something to say to Adam and Eve as well. To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you”. [Genesis 3:16]

Sounds like a good thing, right? How can that be a curse? Except in Hebrew it translates into something else - and as the NLT translation puts it, “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you”.

What this tells us, is that this is actually a struggle for power from then on! God makes it clear: Our husbands are to rule over us - they are to lead us. Women will always try to get their way, and fight for control. To control the household, their husbands, and various situations.

Hence… the curse of the woman!

Even though it is in our sinful nature to want to take control, we can still take control of these sinful desires. Jesus died for it all! He gives us grace and strength to act like real women of God, and excellent wives to our husbands.

Proverbs 31 lays it out perfectly! Us women are to be women and wives of virtue. Real women of God do their husbands good and not evil, they open their mouths and kindness comes out, and their husbands and children praise them.

Question: do you practice these things? Only with practice things get perfect.

One of the biggest ways to allow your husband to be in control and not you, is to remember that your husband is under God. And God teaches us to honor our husbands. (Yes, even if he isn't the greatest example of a husband!) - that is how wives receive a great blessing in their marriages. A gentle and quiet spirit is what will adorn your husband! Instead of always trying to give our opinions, concerns, and correction, we need to learn to speak up when is it necessary. Pray for wisdom. Many times our husband wont make the right choices.. but through that God will teach him how to next time make better choices that please Him.

Many times, when us women give our “humble opinion”, we actually throw our husbands off track. We confuse them. A real man needs to learn to make wise choices, and grow in his own mistakes. I am not saying that women have no say. It's quite the opposite - we are our husband’s best friend. We need to talk, and talk a lot! But many times, we need to let them make the calls. When we submit to our husbands, we submit to the Lord.

A wife is a homemaker, which means is also a peacemaker - not only keeping the home tidy and comfortable, but also creating an atmosphere of peace.

When someone enters your home, how do they feel?

How do others feel in your presence?

Do you make them feel welcome and loved?

Do they feel love and grace coming from you?

Do they see Jesus Christ in you and your home?

Better question yet… does your husband see Jesus Christ in you?

Yes! Husbands need to see the love of Christ in their wives! They need to come home to a peaceful environment - a loving wife who speaks with kindness and patience. That is a crown to him! He will want to take that crown off very quickly if all he ever gets are questions, demands and nagging!

Ladies, whether you are married or not, practice being that crown! Adorn your husband with the love and honor he was created to receive! Let Proverbs 12:4 and Proverbs 31 be one of our favorite passages.. scriptures that we practice on the daily!

Lets strive for excellence.

Don't be a curse…Be a crown :)

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